


Everlasting

by theshyscorpion



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Sad, angst to the extreme, seriously I cried while writing it, spoilers for 3X09
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2019-02-05 08:57:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12791154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theshyscorpion/pseuds/theshyscorpion
Summary: Spoilers for 3x09. A look in Lincoln's mind.





	Everlasting

**Author's Note:**

> I just finished 3x09 and bawled, so of course I had to write and make myself cry some more. Lincoln deserved better.

He had resigned himself to his fate.

His own life for that of his people? There was no question. He knew what he had to do.

Leaving Octavia was the hardest part. Making the decision to trade himself was easy, but the moment he saw the borderline hysteria in her eyes, his resolve had wavered. 

He loved her. He loved her, and he never wanted her to get hurt, but he had to do this. 

So he did. He knocked her out with the needle she had, and had handed her over to Kane. He hated himself for it when he saw the devastation on her face, but she needed to be safe. He needed her to be safe. 

He made his way down the hallway at a measured pace. Now that he wasn't hiding, they would find him easily. Each step made his feet feel like lead. He knew in his head that he was doing the right thing, the thing he'd been trained to do. But his heart? That was a different, more complicated story. 

His heart ached to be with Octavia. To have escaped through the wall with her into the woods, and to plan their future together. Whether it be by continuing to fight for their people or by just heading off into the wilderness together. But at the same time, he knew he would have been haunted forever by the knowledge of innocents dead, and that he could have prevented it. 

It was a truly remarkable thing, how one person, one emotion, could change your life so utterly and completely. One year ago, Lincoln would have thought it insane that he would find a love as consuming as he had for Octavia. If an augury had told him that he would fall in love with a girl who fell from the sky, and that he would risk his life to help her over and over again, he would have laughed. There was no way his love was falling from the sky. But she had. And she had changed everything. 

The pain on her face when she had realized what was happening....that had affected him. He'd known his actions were going to hurt her emotionally, but he knew she would overcome it. After all, he was one man, and he knew Octavia of the Sky People was worth a thousand times more than anything he could ever give her. He hoped that someone, someday, would give her what she deserved. 

She would be sad, yes. But she would move on and live her life with another. Just because his love for her was eternal, didn't mean hers for him had to be. And if it was not, that would be for the best. Because he loved her, he didn't want her to mourn him for the rest of her life. He wanted her to find happiness, to do everything she had ever wanted to do. If he could have given her the world, he would have. And maybe he did. 

His last thoughts, with his knees hitting the water of the puddle with resigned splashes, were of her. Of her smile, her laugh, her kiss. When Pike asked him if he had any last words, he replied truthfully, "Not for you." 

The only last words he had would have been for her. Octavia. His beautiful Sky Girl. His only regret was that his last words to her had not been another, everlasting, I love you.


End file.
